Have you been to Peniel?
Have You Been to Peniel?
Expensive Surrender
Recently I read the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel at Peniel. The story beautifully illustrates the very important heart disposition of total surrender, which leads to new identity.
In Genesis 32, Jacob was about to meet his brother, Esau, and the 400 men coming with him! The last they had seen each other, Jacob (the “Deceiver,” the “Supplanter"), with the help of his mother, had tricked his brother out of his inheritance. He didn’t know if Esau would be forgiving or murderous. He didn’t know if this would be the end of the line for him or not. He was “greatly afraid and distressed.”
He did a wise thing. He separated himself from his wealth, his family, from everything he valued. It says, "He took them (his family) and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone.” (Gen. 32:23-24).
Then he wrestled with the Lord till the break of day. But he didn’t want it to be over too soon. “I will not let you go until you bless me.”
Here’s the identity piece. In his wrestling, Jacob was asked, “What is your name?” Who are you? His moment-of-truth answer, “Jacob.” I bet he said it with tears. He was owning up to who he was - his tendencies, his ambitions, his treacherous nature. And then, as you know, the Lord said back, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” (vs. 28) He was given a new name, a new identity.
So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” (Gen. 32:30)
In reading this, I had this impression: Don’t shortcut the process; don’t let God release you from the wrestling too soon. Invite God’s thorough scrutiny. Pray, as David, “Search me, O God... try me.” Let the Lord bring you to a point of separating yourself from all that is important to you. It may be temporary; it may not. God will determine that. Just put yourself in the position that you only want what he gives back.
I’ve been to Peniel. I’m sure I’ll be back again. My “Peniel lesson" is that my calling is not essentially to do anything for God, but to be his son and to walk with him. That’s our highest calling. Essentially, we are not to be defined by what our gifts, accomplishments or positions are. They are not unimportant, just not of ultimate importance.
In my life there have been seasons of fruitful ministry and seasons where the stream dried up. There have been seasons where ministry was my vocation, and then, where it wasn’t. But the essential calling never changed one bit: I am called to be his son and to walk with him. It’s good of the Lord to test us in this.
Taking Inventory
If you’re up for it, get out a piece of paper and write down everything of value to you. (This is like Jacob sending his family and his possessions to the other side of the stream.) List important relationships (spouse, children, parents, friends), possessions (bank accounts, things you treasure - your favorite guitar, for instance), the intangibles (reputation, education, heritage, accomplishments, etc.), along with your job, your dreams and ambitions.
When you finish your list, prayerfully write at the bottom something like this: “Lord, you purchased me with your blood. I, and all I am or ever hope to be, belong to you. I hereby acknowledge your purchase and joyfully transfer all that my life represents to you, withholding nothing!”
Before Peter took leadership in the early church, Jesus tested him, “Do you love me more than these?” (John 21). He was getting at what the angel of the Lord was getting at with Jacob: what’s the most important thing? Each time Jesus repeated the question to Peter, it must have gone a little deeper into his heart. Just like each hour through the night Jacob wrestled with the angel of the Lord, the identity issue was being defined with increasing clarity.
Oh, and have you noticed that God has a way of going after what you value the most, what really defines you. We’re usually willing to offer him “something of importance” - maybe #4 or #5 on our list of what we value. The Lord probably responds, “Thanks, but I’m really more interested in what you “cherish” - what’s #1 on your list.” For Abraham, it was Isaac; for the rich young ruler, it was his wealth. What’s your #1?
God’s tests are tailor-made. He doesn’t test us all in the same way, and we shouldn’t complain when he asks for things from us that he doesn’t ask from others. He knows what he’s doing.
People persons tend to get tested in the area of relationships. Possession persons - those who define themselves by what they have - will wrestle with letting go of their stuff. Power persons - those who measure themselves by their ambitions, positions and accomplishments - you guessed it, will be tried in those areas.
Covenant Prayer
Years ago, I ran across “The Covenant Prayer.” John Wesley quoted it in 1753, but it was from a Puritan text written (and prayed) 100 year earlier. Here it is:
I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
Exalted for thee or brought low by thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
Thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
Let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
Don’t shortcut the wrestling. Stick with your “opponent” until you can say, “I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure.” Send what’s important to you to the other side of the river, stand alone, and let the waves of God’s cruel kindness wash over you, until, like Jacob, you are permanently wounded,* and until you find the blessing of all blessings: God’s sufficiency to an abandoned soul!**
Footnotes:
* Jacob’s hip was injured in his wrestling, and he walked with a limp for the rest of his life.
** Curious how the Jacob-Esau reunion went? You can read about it in Genesis 33, especially vs. 4.
________________________________
Click here to Comment • Click here to sign up for Bits & Pieces.
Click here for a pdf version of the above article • Feel free to share with others • Come visit us